I recently started another blog. A secret blog. Only a few people know about it and maybe I'll share it with everyone else once, well, once it feels right. As it stands now, I'm not ready. Things are strange now. I feel healthy. I'm getting fit. I'm working out. I cheated on my vegan diet for about two weeks, but now, I'm back on it. Today, instead of cookies, I got fruit. I felt good about that.
I never thought I'd obsess about food, but there's something about it. It keeps me going, it's something to do. I love to cook. I rearranged my kitchen, to my roommates discomfort (I think), to make more room for it. I'm trying to slowly and more so, incorporate organic type products into my life. Being more aware of what I put into my body.
That's now important.
I'm hoping this video, I shot this weekend, currently being edited by Morgan, will work out. And actually attract the right eyes with the right needs - needs I can fullfill. There's a lot of slow motion, a lot of zooming - and just all the usual stuff you can do to make consumer HD video look good. Scott, I'm finding out, everyday, is fucking brilliant. He knows what he's doing. How to make things look good.
I'm so proud of him. And his hard work. And his tenacity. It's inspiring. He gets onto me about not putting dishes away in the sink. I'm pretty good about it, but not that good. I just clean until the food's ready. And then that last pan. Or that plate I ate off, just doesn't get done in time.
I'm also really bad about finishing my laundry. I'll put one load in. Maybe get it into the dryer, having a second load in. And then, I'll just forget about it. And a few days later Scott's finishing it for me, so that he can do his own laundry. Sometimes, I don't feel I'm a good roommate.
I supply the fun, I guess. I have the nice TV and BluRay player. I tend to spend the money I have. This month, I begin paying back my student loans. I'm not looking forward to that. I'd rather buy things that are important. Like music from the iTunes Store... deadly fucking thing. One button shopping is deadly.
I also recently got a personal trainer. (not cheap). To finish off what I'm hoping to finish by this summer - a nice looking beach body. Not that I want to go to the beach. I'm afraid of the ocean, mind you, but because it's something that I've always wanted. Always thought about - but just never followed through with.
I like feeling healthy. I like breathing and feeling that my lungs are happy. That my heart is solid. I like that tight feeling your muscles feel when you're a bit tone and not flabbing around. There's a since of accomplishment. In fact, my recent gym efforts, I think have led me to feel more creative. More in control.
I'm also working pretty steady as a coordinator for Original. Making good money to keep up on my spending. I wish I was saving. And paying these credit cards off, is just something I'd rather not do. I'm close. So close. End of the year, would be fantastic.
With that all in mind, I should get back to work. I thought I was going a little too slow. Blogging, emailing, surfing the net for YouTube or news, but in fact, I'm moving at the pace they'd expect me too. As long as I deliver, they're happy. And that's good.
As for the other blog. I may just keep that private. I was told, via comment, that I'm a good writer on that blog. By a pastor in Indiana. It made my day. Sometimes, I wish I could hug a perfect stranger. And make them feel as happy as I do.
Even when I don't.