The Days They Count So Slowly

I hate when I get hiccups.  

That feelings of complete and utter loss of control.  It's just horrific.  I signed up for 10 sessions with a personal trainer and hopefully that'll kick start the removal of my belly flab.  Nothing that's disgusting, but just once it'll be nice to have a smooth, trim midsection.  

I'm also still cheating on my vegan diet.  I've re-introduced myself to Pinkberry (the devil).  And I occasionally add chicken to my diet.  I guess, I'm trying to get as much protein in my diet and with news of late, the annoyance of eating out doesn't feel that important anymore.  I've got other things to worry about.

I don't feel especially great doing it, however.  

But whatever.  I'm continuing on my edit of The Western "tone and sketches" or whatever I'll call it.  Morgan has taken a crack at it and hopefully this weekend, he'll have something cool to show.  My goal is to have it done by the end of next week.  

(crossing fingers).

I really (really) hate my job.  It's so mindless.  I appreciate the freedom that I have.  I come when I want and leave when I want.  Sometimes, I just don't go in.  I try to keep a solid face on - and give them work as it comes in, it's incredibly simple.  Just incredibly mindless.  And boring.  I'm not sure what I enjoy more.

As a PA, I hated my job but at least that only lasted 10 days of the month.  Now, I'm making much more money and doing much less work - but it's 9 to 5, M-F.  I know.  I know - I'm sounding like a big baby - poor Ben, working like everyone else.

But, the promise of filmmaking.  The whiff of a position, that I'm really looking forward too, makes anything but boring.  I feel I'm spoiled I guess.  I should be grateful.  Which I am.

I love (love) taking naps.  Yesterday, I did not go into work.  I logged the things I needed to log from home.  Got my work done and then, I took a nap.  After a big mid afternoon meal.  And boy, what a wonderful feeling.  Especially if I have MSNBC in the background.  Something about hearing Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann talk makes me so incredibly drowsy.   I love falling asleep to the news.

And sometimes, I just don't want to get up.  

Soon, though, and however.  I'll stop being so lazy.  I guess, as long as I continue to be fed up with my current circumstance, I'll continue to strive to change it - and move forward.  I guess the moment you are satisfied, you stop growing.

And by no means, am I ready for that.  

Just a little nap, would be alright for me.  Sleeping in.  Snuggled close to my partner.  Relaxing breezes and wash of sunlight.  Just fucking, wonderful.