I Hate Liars

Of recently, watching too many politics. Too many poker games. Too many conversations, I've come to the conclusion that I'm an honest person. And, silly enough, I think that others should play honest, others should play by what I think is correct. But, of course, they don't. It would be rather boring and ridiculous world if people just did what I think.

I've enjoyed arguing / debating with my father on the merits of Palin and McCain. We've argued over who's the politician. Who's the liar. Suddenly, I found myself putting a lot of stock into Obama. I trust him. Or maybe. I want to trust him. I need something new and stable and real in my life that I can count on.

I get so angry so quickly. I play poker with my friends and find that I always choose the wrong side. I call their bluff (when they're not) and I fold when they're bluffing. I shouldn't play. I know I play better in certain circumstances. I like to play with a higher buy in - no re-buys. I like to have my full amount of chips not just a smaller amount so we can play in some artificial way.

I've lost too much money but I can't say no. I like playing.

I also eat too much. I'm always full. And I hate myself for it. I want to be vegan again but I've been told that, under my current circumstances, I need protein. And good protein not just a bunch of soy. So, instead, I'm a masochist. I continue to make choices that cause me pain.

Maybe that has to do with my relationship as well.

I'm in a bad mood and I shouldn't be talking to anyone right now - but as things happen I have people playing poker in the other room in my house.

They are sitting across from each other - lying.

It's annoying and frustrating.