Swish Bang Whip

I come crashing into my sheets these nights. Hoping to catch a glimpse of sleep. I'm restless. Tossing in a soft and empty bed. It's colder now. Unfortunately, ill timed. Things are so soft at foot. And I feel like everything is there and around me but fragile. I find myself second guessing and acting paranoid. Some friends have become - something else.

I recently thought how relationships are similar to cooking a meal. And finding someone is shopping for the ingredients. There is the thrill of not knowing what you're getting, trying something new, the hunt. And then, when you settle on something - you take it home. And begin to cook it together. Working together to create a single dish.

And if that works out and things cook well, then you'll get to sit down to the meal.

I think my Dad is there now. He seems happily married and sitting at the table with his wife. Enjoying a life long, and beautiful meal. My Mom seems happier too. Possibly putting the finishing touches on the meal. Even, if there's a hint or fear that maybe they left something at the store.

There is a hesitation before really settling in. Maybe, I forgot something. Maybe this isn't what I want?

Being in your twenties, I think lends itself to that fear. And being able to have the experience of shopping, hunting, searching and discovery new tastes - it's just too soon to ask to settle on any one dish. Even, if you know it's your favorite.

I found myself settling very quickly. And also, found that I'm impatient. Hoping that I'll find someone too that'll share the meal with me. I'm pretty sure I got it right but - there's also that second guessing.

Which makes your youth your youth. A time for guessing. Uncertainty and chance.

Good things come to those who wait.

I'll just continue to stir the soup, bringing to a slow boil. No reason to use microwaves or high heat. I've got many moons to share in feast.

It's just sometimes lonely cooking alone.