My Own Soundtrack. Part I

For some reason, at 1:30 in the morning, I decided to look through my life songs.  Songs that in someway or another acted as a journal of my life.


This song, has always been my personal anthem.  No song has ever truly captured my mood, my outlook in life, the way I want to leave the world.  It's what I want to hear when I die.  
Lyrics: What's pleasing to the eye?  In my delusion of my sight.  It's not what I find when I reach into the light.  I have lost my mind. 
I'm walking through time.  Deluded as the next guy, pretending and hoping to find.  That distant piece of mind.  (doo doo doo) I don't know.  Who does know?  There is no... where to go. (doo doo doo doo doo doo)
It's not so simple as I try to wish.  Then again, what is?  There is no other worthy quest.  So on, I go.  I don't know.  Who does know?  There is no... where to go.  I don't know.  Who does know?  Where to go.  I don't know.  I don't know.  I don't know.  I don't know...

I was supposed to graduate in 2005.  However, life threw me a curve ball and my financial situation, student loans I expected to come in, didn't come through and so... I had to take a pseudo-year off.  When all my friends went on to make their capstone/thesis films, I was taking basic sideline classes, waiting and hoping to make a film the following year.  When I moved out of my apartment and back into my Mom's house - I had this strange feeling of leaving behind myself.  Looking at my own body.  This song is obviously about addiction, that which I could definitely say I had some of, in my own ways, but for me it was learning to leave my old self behind - and look toward a new self.
Lyrics: I know what you're thinking but I'm not your property.  No matter what you say.  No matter what you say.  Move along.  There's nothing left to see.  Just a body.  Nothing left to see.
A couple more for breakfast.  A little more for tea.  Just to take the edge off.  Just to take the edge off.  Move along.  There's nothing left to see.  Just a body, pouring down the street.  Move along.  There's nothing to see.   Just a body.  Nothing left to see. 
Move along.

Writing "The Lonely Lights.  The Color of Lemons."  Was an adventure in exploring my past, the memories from my childhood and coming to terms with my sexuality.  The mood of that exploration  and writing, sitting in my lone apartment back in Orlando was this song.  A dance song, sad and old, worn out and taking a retrofit in a world much changed.  Monochrome in the 1990's.
Lyrics: Play a game with your electronics.  Take a step to the discotheque and people... go outside where there's someone watching cars go by and the city's tall with steeples.  Hand in hand with the Electronic Renaissance is the way to go, yeah  Hand in hand with the Electronic Renaissance is the way to go, boy.  Hand in hand with the Electronic Renaissance is the way to go.  You're learning, soon you will do the things you wanted.  Since you were wearing glitter badges.

If you dance for much very longer.  You'll be known as the boy who's always dancing.  If you work for much very longer.  You'll be known as the boy who's always working.

Monochrome in the 1990's.  You go disco and I'll go my way.  Monochrome in the 1990's.  You go disco and I'll go my way.  Monochrome in the 1990's.  You go disco and I'll go Funkadelic, man.  Is the way to go.  So drop a pill and then say hello...
And many more to come...